God's Faith in Mankind Part 7 (SpnxReader)

“I could see its s-soul.. I knew it was a demon just from looking at it before the eyes went black! So tell me Mr. Fine, what the hell does that mean?”

That was four hours ago, now you were sat on the motel sofa whilst the boys- including feathers- discussed your situation. Pent up frustration and worry makes you irritable, and soon the feeling of being left out of the conversation like a small child grates on you. With an angry frown on your face you pull yourself up and stomp up to Dean’s left side.

“-angerous- (f/n)”  Cas stopped mid sentence, eyes flashing to yours.
“So am I dangerous? or in danger?” you puff in anger, barely registering Sam’s attempt to explain for himself, his brother and the angel “I deserve to know whats going on, you can’t protect me..” your voice was almost a shout and all three had their attention trained on you, none daring to speak till you had calmed down.

Slowly before Dean or Sam could stop him, Cas grabbed attop your shoulder trying to comfort you, only to trigger memories that had barely been dealt with from earlier that day. Panic gripped you for the second time that day as you hit Cas before slowly stumbling back- only to realise your mistake.

“Cas, I’m so- I didn’t-” words jumbled and failing you, you hastily remove yourself from the room in an attempt to stop the tight feeling from gripping your chest. Doing the exact same exercises you sometimes did with Sam when it got too much, you concentrated on breathing in for 3 and out for 3 whilst walking to a shady tree. Slowly you lowered yourself to the ground as you forced the tension to leave your body.

Letting the wind blow your hair and the rustling of the leaves wash over you, it was some time before you heard familiar steps approaching. Dean’s larger form sat down next to you, warm and comforting- You would have sat there all day if you could have.

“I remember Cas saying that the only way to reach the power inside me was to shatter my soul..” you began, causing Dean to tense beside you “Am I broken, Dean?”
“More like cracked.. if you were broken it would be like a big ass bomb had just gone off.”
“We really need to work on your bedside manor!” he chuckled at your comment and gently nudged you with his shoulder “So what, I’m cracked and the powers leaking out?”
“something like that” Dean smirked and you chuckled along with him until a dark cloud of thought formed in your head…

“It’s going to kill me isn’t it?”
“(f/n)-”
“Isn’t it?!”

“Yes”